GOOD MORNING AMERICA HOW ARE YA

Did you see the cover of the Times, with the picture of Redman buying fireworks? Amazing. Also, it got me thinking. How are fireworks legal ANYWHERE? I don't trust anyone with them. No one! Have fun out there, my patriotic creatures, and don't let me see you around anything more intense than a burning schoolhouse, my heart can't take it.

ps: we're closed today!